The idea of self-love sounds like a cliché, as does that saying:  If you don’t love yourself, how can you expect others to love you? People love to advise each other to focus on loving themselves. It seems to be something vaguely prescribed when things feel hard. But what does it actually mean? What does it look like? Some interpret this to mean  indulgent bubble baths, movie nights and walks in nature. For others, it might look like enforcing boundaries or leaving damaging

For most of my life I didn’t know I was autistic. I was social, (relatively) high-functioning and female, which means I didn’t fit the stereotype. I have high empathy and like to think that I read people well. So when a friend, who was studying how autism presents in girls, showed me a list of traits, it felt like I had been struck by lightning. I ticked nearly every box. My traits are subtle, and therefore they can be easy to miss. Over time, I’ve learned how they show up; f