Human Being or Human Doing? (The importance of rest)

23 hours ago

3 min read

Lady resting outside with blankets reading a book

It seems we humans have achieved the opposite of Oscar Wilde’s aspirations. Despite creating machines to do the work so we could have more time to play, we actually have less! Despite all the “progress” (where would we be without dishwashers, washing machines and tumble dryers?), many of us are working even more.

Work emails in the evening, colleagues messaging at weekends and the expectation that we should always be available show how far work has leaked into our downtime. Even our phones get a rest, their batteries get hot and need to recharge. However, we often don't give ourselves the same consideration. We believe we can rest once everything else is done - but there is always more to do. The idea that we should constantly be productive has become internalised, leaving us feeling guilty at the thought of rest.

Rest isn't a reward for being productive. It is a biological need which plays an important role in our ability to function. The human brain isn't designed to be “on” all the time, yet modern life gives us few opportunities to genuinely switch off. Phones, notifications, social media, news, work and family responsibilities can keep our brains engaged even when we aren't consciously doing anything.

Lately I've been wondering about those children who are constantly being taxied from one activity to the next. A full school day, clubs and weekend activities, along with unmanaged screentime, can leave very little time to simply be. These activities are offered with the best intentions; parents want children to develop interests, build skills, make friends and experience new things. Is it possible that this is doing them a disservice? How much time do children have between all the clubs, activities and academic demands simply to be alone, be quiet, potter about, stare out of a window or follow a thought wherever it leads?

There is value in boredom. Without immediate entertainment, our minds have space to wander and ideas emerge. We read, create, make up games and learn to entertain ourselves. By filling every available moment are we giving children enough opportunity to develop curiosity, creativity, self-direction, resilience and imagination?

Perhaps the question is whether we are giving children (and ourselves) enough opportunity to discover what happens when we don't have to be productive.

The good news, particularly for those of us who struggle to sit still, is that rest isn't necessarily the same as doing nothing. Sometimes rest is laughing with friends who accept you exactly as you are. Sometimes it is sitting quietly in the garden, staring into a pond. Sometimes it is sleep. And sometimes it really is binge-watching Ted Lasso for eight hours straight!

This topic is particularly relevant to neurodivergent people, who spend considerable energy on things that aren't visible to others. The amount of recovery someone needs isn't necessarily proportional to how physically busy they have been. You can spend an entire day sitting at a desk and still be completely exhausted. What matters is paying attention to how you feel and allowing yourself the type of rest you need.

According to Oliver Burkeman, if we're lucky, we have around 4,000 weeks on this planet. That's it! How many of those precious weeks do we want to spend being productive? And how many do we want to spend experiencing, enjoying and appreciating this beautiful, extraordinary life?

I prefer to be a human being than a human doing, how about you?

Lauren Richards GMBPsS, MSc, EMCC, HGDipl, Cert Ed., BSocSc

Specialist AuDHD and Positive Psychology Coach

www.larkcoaching.co.uk

larkcoaching@gmail.com