(Un) social Media

(Un)social Media

The perfect size for a group of humans to live together in a healthy, well-functioning community is 150.  According to some anthropologists, that is how many people our brains can keep track of, maintain relationships with, monitor, and manage.

How big is your ‘tribe’? Add together your family, friends, and work colleagues – what about your social media accounts? How many people do you follow? And how much news do you consume? Back in the tribal days we would have had news of competing neighbouring tribes, but barely any from across the world. Scientists have suggested that we aren’t biologically designed to cope with social information of the scale we are exposed to today– our brain can manage 150, not 15000 people!

These demands on our attention leave us depleted and exhausted. The constant barrage of news and social media affects sleep and makes us vulnerable to anxiety.  This then creates a vicious cycle of feeling low, being easily frustrated, lacking in motivation, and less resistant to doomscrolling which reinforces the idea that the world is a bad place.

We humans tend to pay more attention to negative events, aka the negativity bias. This behaviour was great when it enabled us to notice threats and avoid danger when we were living in caves and battling predators. However, with the constant stream of negativity coming at us through social media, this tendency is unhelpful because we can’t (for the most part) control or prevent the bad things that we see and read about.

When I was a child in the 80’s, news was something that arrived on a Sunday in a newspaper and on the telly in the evenings. It could be turned off, had to be waited for and chosen to be watched or read, we even took turns reading the paper. Now we have instant gratification: no waiting, no conscious choosing what we consume, our (not-so) smart phones notify us of updates constantly. What these notifications do to us on a biological level is to put us repeatedly into a state of high alert. Every time we receive a notification our cave-person fight-flight survival mechanism is hijacked and our body releases stress hormones. After a while this becomes the new norm and our system resets – so our new normal is a more heightened state of being (and not in a good way).

So, what can you do to deflect the negativity and bring some light back into your world?

The solution is simple:

Turn off your phone.

Oh, ok too simple – in which case here are some suggestions:

1.     Turn off notifications for news and social media. This allows you to control where your attention is directed and when.

2.     Limit your own screen time –visit your phone settings where you can set time limits for your apps.

3.     Be aware of what you are consuming mentally and take responsibility for your information diet. The more you feed your brain rubbish the more rubbish it will feel.

4.     Don’t read the comments people put on social media – often these are nasty and ill-informed opinions which add nothing and take away your sanity. Social media reminds me a bit of driving – people can safely be rude and nasty from behind a screen. Also, without being able to read tone, facial expressions and body language, we often misinterpret the intended message. Easier just to stay away.

5.     If you must use your phone – sign up to positive news sites and allow yourself to be inspired by the good that is happening (it is out there I promise!)

6.     To shake off the negativity be aware of what you are reading and watching and ask yourself how this is benefitting you. For what purpose are you actually watching this? What could you be doing instead?

7.     Notice your posture – are you hunched over; neck lowered whilst you scroll? Research has found that our body posture creates biological changes which can affect our mood and confidence.  In which case, you are going to feel sad, anxious and demotivated. Sit up. Head forwards. Shoulders back. Better yet – get up and MOVE.

8.     Practice kindness, practice gratitude and spend time with real people!

You can’t do anything about the news, so why torture yourself by listening to /reading the same event throughout the day? It doesn’t make you a good person, or even a more intelligent person – slightly more informed maybe, but also more highly strung, more exhausted, less positive, less enthusiastic, and less hopeful. All the things we need more of to make life better. If we were all more hopeful and positive and enthusiastic, perhaps we would be nicer to each other, and work together to make changes, instead of being divided, scared and living in echo chambers of negativity! So, get out there and do some loving.

Lauren Richards GMBPsS, MSc, EMCC, HGDipl, Cert Ed., BSocSc 

Positive Psychologist and Coaching Psychologist

www.larkcoaching.co.uk

larkcoaching@gmail.com