LOVE REALLY IS THE ANSWER
By Lauren Richards
I read somewhere that love is a verb. An action. A “doing” word. We “do” love.
We love loving so much that we have a special day to celebrate it. We give cards, flowers, chocolate, … and woe betide forgetting, even worse - being forgotten! We love being loved too, you only need to scroll through social media for instructions on how to love, how to be loved and how to love yourself.
Looking after yourself is particularly important during a pandemic. Physically, our body needs good nourishment and exercise. Our mental and emotional health need protecting and nurturing. And, being social creatures, we need to connect with other people.
Wellbeing and happiness have been investigated across the globe, and in all these studies (there are many), one crucial finding stands out: Other. People. Matter. To be happy, to have wellbeing, we need social support, we need family, we need friends
Furthermore, research shows that the happiest people are those who choose to spend their lives in altruistic actions – i.e. helping others voluntarily. According to the Father of Positive Psychology, Martin Seligman, the quickest way to feel better is to find someone who needs help and help them. The less we focus on “self” and the more we focus on helping others, the happier we are.
Don’t believe Seligman? Try this:
Choose one pleasurable (fun) activity and one philanthropic (helpful to someone else) activity. Flip a coin to decide which one to do first. Spend the same amount of time on each activity. Compare your reactions to each activity.
Love really is the answer. If we start from the place that everyone just wants to be loved, how different might our interactions be? How many disagreements, misunderstandings and conflicts might be avoided? Imagine if we all treated each other with love, kindness, and compassion, if we really listened instead of judging, listened instead of waiting to speak, listened with the intention to truly understand, if we came from a place of love, because we want to help, to care, to nurture … if we loved (verb).
LOVING KINDNESS MEDITATION
Have a go at this loving kindness meditation: